TL;DR: Gone are the days where only men prefer dating younger. Recent studies show that there are three things that influence our decision to date younger/older partners regardless of sex: money and religion. In nations with smaller gaps in economic development, the smaller the age difference between partners. The larger the economic differences, the wider the age gap preferences for dating, worldwide.

Nearly half of Americans have been in relationships with age gaps of 10 years or more, while others consistently choose similar-age partners (Ipsos, 2022). Recent studies reveal that age gap preferences are more complex and varied than previously understood people’s stated preferences, immediate attraction responses, and actual relationship patterns can all differ, and each provides valid information about human mate selection (Conroy-Beam and Buss, 2019; Atkinson, 2024).

Two Factors Control Age-Difference Dating: Money and Religion

Age preferences in relationships represent one of the most consistent yet varied patterns in human behavior worldwide, with emerging research revealing how economic development systematically influences these patterns across all cultures.

Men Marry Younger Women in Every Country

A study of 2,655 adults found that while men consistently reported highest attraction to women in their 20s regardless of their own age, their actual relationships typically involved women much closer to their own age. The study is further supported by research that analyzed over 160 million individuals across 89 countries and found that men marry younger women in every single country studied, with a minimum age gap of two years. However, this universal pattern shows remarkable responsiveness to economic conditions. The study revealed that age gaps consistently decrease with economic development across all countries worldwide.

The relationship between economic development and age gaps is remarkably predictable: one log point increase in GDP per capita correlates with an average decline of 1.6 years in the husband-wife age gap. This means that economic prosperity systematically correlates with smaller age differences in relationships across all cultures and regions.

To illustrate the magnitude of this effect, the researchers noted that Liberia (in West Africa) has an average GDP per capita four log points lower than the United States and had an average age gap of 8 years compared to 2 years in the U.S. Other sub-Saharan African countries show some of the largest age gaps globally (Gambia: 14.5 years, Guinea: 13.5 years, Mali: 12.9 years), while many European countries demonstrate much narrower gaps (Czech Republic, Slovakia, Estonia: 2.0-2.2 years).

Religion Determines Age Dating Preferences

Earlier Pew Research Center from 2020 analyzed over 130 countries and revealed additional layers of variation in age gap patterns across religious groups:

• Muslims: 6.6 years average gap
• Hindus: 5.6 years average gap
• Christians: 3.8 years average gap
• Buddhists: 2.9 years average gap
• Jews: 2.1 years average gap
• Religiously unaffiliated: 2.3 years average gap

These religious differences interact with economic development patterns, suggesting that both cultural background and economic conditions shape relationship formation and likelihood of age-gap relationships. 

Factors Beyond Economic Development

A study out of Nanjing University also identified several additional factors that influence age gaps within economic contexts:

1. Education: Higher educational attainment decreased women’s husband-wife age gap by 0.7 to 2.0 years compared to those who didn’t complete primary school. This suggests that education provides resources and opportunities that influence other partner selection patterns.
2. Urban vs. Rural Living: Urban living decreased age gaps for both genders, likely reflecting different economic opportunities, social norms, and mate selection environments in urban versus rural contexts.
3. Marriage Structure: Polygynous unions significantly increased age gaps, adding 6.4 to 7.5 years for women and 5.1 to 6.0 years for men compared to monogamous marriages. This demonstrated how marriage structure and type interacted with age preferences.

How Age-Gap Preferences Function in Relationships

The global research on economic development and age gaps suggests that your brain’s mate selection systems are highly responsive to economic and social contexts. In economically developed environments with greater resource security, your preference systems may weigh factors like shared interests, emotional compatibility, and life stage similarity more heavily. In resource-constrained environments, age differences that correlate with resource access or security might receive greater weight in automatic evaluation processes.

Both Genders Prefer Younger Partners for Long-Term Relationships

A study conducted by Eastwick et al. from the University of Texas at Austin revealed that both men and women showed equal attraction to younger partners in real-world dating scenarios, contradicting long-held assumptions about gender-differentiated age preferences. The research, which analyzed 9,084 reports from 6,262 middle-aged adults who were an average age of 46.8 y old (SD = 11.6) participated in 4,542 blind dates through a matchmaking service (the matchmaking service was only $100/year? That shocked me…) found that participants were slightly more attracted to younger partners regardless of their gender.

The study revealed a striking disconnect between what people say they want and what actually attracts them in person. While women typically report preferring older partners in surveys and questionnaires, the blind date data showed that women were just as likely as men to be attracted to younger dates. This finding was particularly surprising given that in mixed-gender couples, men are typically older than women by an average of about 4 years globally.

The study’s design was particularly robust because it examined attraction in face-to-face encounters where participants were explicitly seeking long-term relationships, rather than relying on online dating behavior or speed-dating scenarios that might activate short-term mating preferences.

Why Do I Date Older or Younger Partners?

Your brain runs automatic compatibility checks when you meet someone, and age triggers some of the oldest, most basic assessments. When you’re drawn to older partners, you might be responding to cues that biologically and historically signaled resources, emotional stability, or life experience of someone who’s figured things out and can provide security. When you’re attracted to younger partners, your brain might be picking up on energy, fertility, or fewer emotional complications from past relationships. But there’s more to the story of why you select younger partners…

Money Changes Everything

In wealthy societies, you can afford to date for personality compatibility because you’re not worried about survival. But in places where money is tight, dating someone older and with money might literally mean the difference between financial stress and security. An older partner may have a stable job, own property, or have savings practical advantages that matter when you’re struggling to pay rent.

Conversely, if you’re already financially secure, you might prefer younger partners because you don’t need their money. You can focus on whether they’re fun, attractive, or share your interests without worrying about whether they can help support you or future children.

What Your Family Actually Taught You

You learned what “normal” relationships look like by watching your parents, aunts, uncles, and family friends. If most couples in your family had big age gaps, that feels normal to you. If they were all close in age, large gaps might feel weird or wrong.

Your family also directly shaped your preferences through approval and disapproval. Maybe they praised your older boyfriend as “mature” or worried that your younger girlfriend was “too young to settle down.” These messages stick with you even when you’re an adult making your own choices.

Education Creates Age Clustering

College creates artificial age groupings most people date within their graduation cohort because that’s who they spend time with. If you went to college, you probably dated people within 1-2 years of your age simply because those were your classmates, study partners, and social circle.

But education also changes what you want from relationships. People with more education often delay marriage, prioritize career compatibility, and want partners who can discuss ideas with them. This might make you more open to age gaps if you meet someone older with similar education, or less interested in younger partners who haven’t had similar intellectual experiences.

Do the Math: What are Your Dating Options in a City vs. Small Town?

In big cities, you have thousands of potential partners, so you can be pickier about everything including age. You can afford to say “I only date people within 3 years of my age” because you’ll still have plenty of options. In small towns, you might have 20 single people in your age range. Being rigid about age preferences could mean staying single, so you learn to focus on other qualities. Rural areas also tend to have more traditional gender roles, which historically came with larger age gaps; men needed time to establish careers before they could support families.

Your Dating History Determines Your Preferences

If you dated someone 20-years older than you and they treated you like a child, you might avoid big age gaps. If you dated someone your exact age and felt like you were babysitting them, you might start preferring older partners. Past relationships also teach you what you actually need versus what you thought you wanted. Maybe you thought maturity came with age, but your older ex was actually less emotionally mature than younger people you’ve known. Or maybe you thought older partners would be boring, but you actually loved feeling secure and stable for once.

What Age Gap Dating Can Actually Get You

• Older partners often offer: financial stability, life experience, established career/identity, better emotional regulation, less drama, clearer communication about what they want.
• Younger partners often offer: higher energy, fewer emotional baggage from past relationships, more openness to new experiences, physical vitality, less cynicism about relationships.
• Same-age partners often offer: shared cultural references, similar life stages, peer-level friendships, equal social status, family approval.

None of these are guaranteed, right? You can find immature 47-year-olds and wise 25-year-olds. But these patterns exist often enough that your brain uses age as a quick filter for the kind of relationship experience you’re seeking.

Conclusion

The research indicates that when the relationship is legal, there is no gap too big nor is there a difference between the genders in their preference for younger partners in long-term relationships. The biggest indicator for the existence of an age gap is: 1) socioeconomic status and 2) cultural acceptance. In cultures where there is a wide gap between socioeconomic status, the likelihood of a larger percentage of age-gap relationships will be present. In nations where there isn’t a large gap in economic wealth, the age gap relationships are between 2-6 years difference. 

Popular Questions

What does it mean if I have a specific age range preference for relationships?

Age preferences reflect the integration of evolutionary psychology, cultural learning, economic context, personal experience, and individual values into functional decision-making criteria for relationships. They represent normal human variation in how people prioritize different compatibility factors within their economic and social environment.

How does money affect age preferences? 

Research across 89 countries shows that economic development consistently correlates with smaller age gaps worldwide. Higher GDP per capita, education levels, and urban living all correlate with smaller age differences, suggesting that economic prosperity expands relationship options and reduces resource-based constraints on mate selection.

Do age preferences typically change throughout life? 

Research shows that age preferences can remain stable or evolve naturally throughout life in response to changing personal circumstances and broader economic conditions. Common patterns include women becoming more flexible about younger partners after age 60 and men’s preferences for younger partners increasing with age, but individual variation is substantial within economic contexts.

Why do people have such different comfort levels with age gaps? 

Individual differences reflect variation in genetics, personality traits, cultural values, religious background, economic context, educational background, urban vs. rural experience, life experience, relationship goals, and current circumstances. This creates a wide spectrum of valid approaches to age in relationships across all economic development levels.

How do age preferences relate to actual relationship success? 

Research suggests that while age preferences are valid within their economic and cultural contexts, factors like shared values, communication quality, emotional maturity, cultural compatibility, and mutual respect often predict relationship satisfaction more strongly than age similarity or difference alone. Different age configurations can lead to successful relationships within appropriate economic and social contexts, with success patterns varying across development levels.