The Core Issue
Boys are struggling, but their emotional needs are often silenced. When masculinity is framed as avoidance, stoicism, and detachment, boys are left without tools to express fear, shame, or longing. Into that void rush ideologies that promise power, certainty, and control centered around misogyny.
Key Data on Masculinity & Misogynistic Views
- Just over 70% of boys have been told “real men don’t show emotion”. This common assertion highlights societal expectations and their impact on men’s emotional expression. This belief can contribute to boys and men suppressing their feelings, potentially leading to negative mental health consequences (McKenzie et al 2018).
- Adolescent boys are increasingly exposed to influencer content that links masculinity to dominance, wealth, and sexual conquest. Often under terms like “high-value male” or “alpha.” Studies show that this content not only shapes behavior through repeated modeling but also fosters emotional suppression and resentment toward women, particularly when boys feel socially excluded or rejected (Al-Ansi et al., 2023; Roberts et al., 2025). This influencer-driven culture fills emotional voids with status-based ideologies that reward aggression and stigmatize vulnerability.
- A significant number of men perceive feminism as harmful to their own identity and well-being. While a substantial portion of women also express concerns about feminism, men are more likely to attribute harm to it. For instance, a global study found that roughly one-third of men believe feminism does more harm than good, compared to about one-fifth of women (Beaver 2022).
Who Benefits from Emotionally Repressed Masculinity?
Beneficiaries of Emotionally Constricted Masculinity
The current discourse around masculine identity reveals systemic incentives for maintaining emotional repression. Certain media figures have cultivated substantial followings by reframing male insecurity as a problem solvable through domination, offering ideological frameworks that replace introspection with performative control. These approaches thrive in attention economies where algorithmic amplification favors conflict-driven content over nuanced discussion. Meanwhile, industries positioned to address resulting mental health crises, from self-help programs to therapeutic services, increasingly rely on the persistence of these unmet needs, creating paradoxical market dependencies.
The Emotional Socialization Gap
Prevailing masculine norms condition boys to interpret emotional distress as personal failure rather than natural human experience. From early childhood, sadness and vulnerability are systematically stigmatized—not merely ignored, but actively framed as threats to masculine identity. This creates what psychologists term emotional illiteracy: the inability to recognize, name, or healthily process basic affective states. The resulting behavioral patterns of male emotional suppression, deflection through anger, or somatic manifestation are often misdiagnosed as individual pathologies rather than understood as culturally engineered coping mechanisms.
Intersectional Pressures on Emotional Expression
The consequences of this emotional deprivation manifest differentially across social locations:
- Racialized Masculinity
- Communities facing systemic oppression often cultivate emotional restraint as protective armor against discrimination
- Simultaneously, expressions of justifiable anger are weaponized through racist stereotypes (“angry,” “dangerous”)
- Creates impossible double bind: emotional transparency risks vulnerability, while restraint enables dehumanization
- Gender-Nonconforming Experience
- Absence of culturally sanctioned models for masculine vulnerability outside heteronormative frameworks
- Forces adoption of either hypermasculine performativity or complete rejection of masculine coding
- Neither pathway provides healthy integration of emotional complexity
- Class-Based Exclusion
- Working-class environments frequently equate emotional discussion with privileged self-indulgence
- Traditional “breadwinner” models collapse under economic precarity without replacement narratives
- Leaves men stranded between obsolete ideals and inaccessible therapeutic discourses
This intersectional analysis reveals how the emotional starvation inherent in dominant masculinity paradigms becomes compounded by other structural inequalities. What presents as uniform “crisis” is in fact a fractal pattern of distinct but interrelated dysfunctions, each requiring context-specific interventions.
Pathways Toward Constructive Reform
Emerging evidence suggests that effective interventions toxic masculinity must balance compassionate support with behavioral accountability (Gough and Novikova 2020). Progressive models of masculinity demonstrate success by decoupling emotional vulnerability from perceived weakness, often through community-based initiatives that provide male-coded spaces for authentic discussion (Kingsman 2023). Counter to reactionary narratives advocating regression to imagined traditional ideals, these approaches recognize that sustainable change requires addressing root causes rather than symptoms. Public health data increasingly supports programs that combine peer support networks with professional mental health resources, particularly those adapting evidence-based practices to specific demographic contexts.
Actionable Steps for Individuals towards Healthier Masculinity
To cultivate healthier masculinity, begin by critically evaluating the ideas you consume. Seek out voices that emphasize emotional growth. Identify men’s groups that teach conflict resolution, vulnerability, and mutual respect rather than dominance or blame. Pay attention to whether content encourages self-reflection or instead redirects frustration outward, particularly toward marginalized groups. When engaging with men’s self-improvement materials, prioritize healthy masculinity strategies that foster connection with men in the community over isolation. Small, deliberate practices such as labeling emotions aloud, even privately can gradually rewire ingrained habits of suppression. The goal is not perfection, but increased awareness of how internalized beliefs shape behavior.
Actionable Steps for Society
Systemic change requires reimagining how boys are socialized. Schools should integrate emotional literacy into curricula, teaching children to identify and articulate feelings with the same rigor as math or reading. Community-based mentorship programs must provide boys with nonjudgmental spaces to explore identity beyond restrictive stereotypes. Media and popular culture play a pivotal role: rather than glorifying aggression or stoicism, we need stories that celebrate men who embrace growth, apologize, and navigate uncertainty. True progress depends on dismantling the false binary between “strength” and “softness,” framing masculinity as dynamic, not fixed. Policy investments, from mental health funding to anti-bullying initiatives, can institutionalize these values, ensuring boys inherit a healthier emotional vocabulary than previous generations.
Beyond Silence, Beyond Stereotypes
When masculinity is defined by silence, boys aren’t made stronger, they’re made lonelier. And in that loneliness, misogyny offers false promises: clarity, control, validation. But real strength comes from connection. Masculinity doesn’t need to be thrown away but it can be rebuilt on honesty, not dominance.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is considered toxic masculinity?
Toxic masculinity refers to a narrow and harmful set of cultural norms that equate masculinity with dominance, emotional suppression, aggression, and the rejection of anything perceived as “feminine.” It is not an indictment of masculinity itself but a critique of rigid behavioral codes that punish vulnerability, discourage empathy, and reward control. Traits like emotional stoicism, entitlement to power, and the policing of other men through shame or violence are common components. These norms often emerge from early socialization and are reinforced through peer culture, media, and institutional expectations.
What is the solution to toxic masculinity?
The solution lies in redefining masculinity as flexible, relational, and emotionally intelligent. This involves: (1) Early emotional education that normalizes vulnerability and communication; (2) Community-based male spaces that foster peer support without reinforcing dominance hierarchies; (3) Cultural modeling of men who demonstrate strength through care, accountability, and mutual respect. Systemic changes such as shifting media representations, promoting equitable caregiving roles, and integrating gender literacy in schools are also key to dismantling the incentive structures that sustain toxic masculinity.
How does toxic masculinity affect relationships?
Toxic masculinity erodes intimacy by teaching men to see emotional expression as weakness and control as connection. In romantic and platonic relationships, it often leads to emotional unavailability, avoidance of conflict resolution, and patterns of dominance or withdrawal. Partners may feel chronically unseen, unsupported, or unsafe. It also undermines men’s own relational well-being, as they may lack the tools to express needs, navigate vulnerability, or seek help. Over time, these dynamics foster mistrust, loneliness, and reactive coping strategies like anger, substance use, or emotional shutdown.
What are the 4 types of masculinity?
According to sociologist Raewyn Connell’s framework, there are four major types of masculinity that operate within a gender hierarchy: (1) Hegemonic Masculinity – The culturally exalted ideal of male dominance, often associated with control, heterosexuality, toughness, and emotional restraint. (2) Complicit Masculinity – Men who benefit from the patriarchal system without fully enacting hegemonic traits themselves. (3) Subordinate Masculinity – Masculinities that are actively marginalized, such as those associated with gay men or emotionally expressive men. (4) Marginalized Masculinity – Masculinities that are devalued due to race, class, or disability, even when aligning with dominant traits.
