Gaslighting refers to a form of psychological manipulation in which one person causes another to doubt their own perception, memory, or sense of reality. Often used in abusive relationships, this tactic creates confusion, self-doubt, and dependency by gradually undermining a person’s ability to trust their thoughts or emotions.
Gaslighting is not a clinical diagnosis, but it is widely recognized in trauma psychology, especially in the context of emotional abuse, intimate partner dynamics, and coercive control.
Gaslighting
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| Category | Psychology, Relationships |
| Key Features | Denial of reality, memory manipulation, blame-shifting, emotional invalidation |
| Common Tactics | “You’re overreacting,” rewriting history, staged forgetfulness, mock concern |
| Psychological Effects | Self-doubt, anxiety, confusion, attachment trauma, fawn response |
| High-Risk Settings | Romantic relationships, family systems, workplace hierarchies, cults |
| Sources: Sweet (2023); PsychCentral (2022); APA (2021) | |
Other Names
psychological manipulation, coercive control, emotional invalidation, mental destabilization, cognitive abuse, perception distortion, power-over tactics, narrative control, reality denial, relational sabotage
History
1944: Origin in Theater and Film
The term “gaslighting” comes from the film *Gaslight* (1944), where a husband manipulates his wife into believing she is going insane by dimming the lights and denying it. The story highlighted how control over perception can serve as emotional domination.
1970s–1990s: Feminist and Domestic Violence Discourse
Cognitive abuse became a recognized term in feminist psychology, particularly to describe how abusers distort reality to silence women or avoid accountability. It was seen as a tactic within broader systems of patriarchy and emotional labor imbalance.
2010s–Present: Mainstream and Diagnostic Awareness
Wider awareness of narcissistic abuse, trauma-informed therapy, and relationship psychology brought cognitive abuse into everyday vocabulary. The term is now used in political commentary, workplace dynamics, and interpersonal conflict discussions.
Biology
Stress Response and Limbic Hijacking
Gaslighting activates the brain’s threat detection systems, especially the amygdala and hypothalamus. Repeated exposure to reality denial causes chronic stress, destabilizing the nervous system and reinforcing fear-based relational patterns.
Memory Disruption and Neuroplasticity
When someone is repeatedly told their memory is flawed, the hippocampus and prefrontal cortex may begin to under-function in retrieval and confidence signaling. Over time, this rewires belief systems, especially in emotionally dependent individuals.
Attachment and the Safety Paradox
Victims of psychological manipulation often experience what neuroscience terms a “safety paradox” where the person they rely on for connection also poses a psychological threat. This destabilizes oxytocin signaling and reinforces anxious or disorganized attachment.
Psychology
Identity Erosion and Emotional Derealization
Cognitive abuse causes a person to question their reality, which can lead to derealization and identity instability. Victims may withdraw socially or become hyper-dependent on the manipulator for affirmation and decision-making.
Power, Shame, and Learned Helplessness
The cycle of cognitive manipulation often leads to internalized shame, helplessness, and a distorted self-concept. This can result in fawning, perfectionism, or compulsive caretaking as survival strategies in relationships.
Clinical Contexts and Comorbidity
Gaslighting is often present in relationships involving narcissistic, borderline, or antisocial traits. Survivors may experience complex PTSD, codependency, or dissociative symptoms as a result of prolonged exposure.
Sociology
Gendered Use and Institutional Power
Psychological manipulation is disproportionately used against women, queer individuals, and people in lower-power positions. In patriarchal or white supremacist systems, institutional gaslighting often denies lived experiences of harm or bias.
Cognitive Abuse in Public Discourse
Politicians, corporations, and institutions may use gaslighting tactics to control narratives, reframe harm, or avoid accountability. This has led to a broader understanding of how power manipulates truth across contexts.
Impact of Gaslighting on Relationships
Cycle of Idealization and Devaluation
Gaslighting often appears in cycles: the abuser may first idealize their partner, then begin to subtly devalue them through denials, contradictions, or blame. The victim becomes emotionally disoriented, unsure of what’s real.
Emotional Dysregulation and Self-Doubt
Victims may second-guess themselves constantly, unable to trust their emotions or interpretations. This undermines conflict resolution, intimacy, and mutual respect, replacing them with fear, appeasement, or avoidance.
Barriers to Leaving
Because gaslighting erodes self-trust, it can delay recognition of abuse. Victims may believe they are the problem, remain loyal out of guilt, or avoid seeking help for fear of being disbelieved.
Cultural Impact
Gaslighting as a Buzzword
The term’s popularity has led to overuse and dilution. While it can be misapplied to any disagreement, true gaslighting involves repeated, targeted psychological manipulation with intent to destabilize.
Reclamation and Resistance
Survivors and advocates have reclaimed the term to name hidden abuse and build emotional literacy. Social media has enabled community recognition and language for previously invisible patterns.
Key Debates
Overdiagnosis vs. Underrecognition
Some psychologists warn that gaslighting is being over-applied to ordinary conflict. Others argue that it’s still under-acknowledged in therapy and legal systems where emotional abuse lacks formal recognition.
Intentionality and Definition Scope
A core debate centers on whether psychological manipulation requires intent. Some frame it as a malicious tactic, while others recognize it as unconscious behavior rooted in fear, insecurity, or learned relational patterns.
Media Depictions
Film
- Gaslight (1944): Ingrid Bergman plays Paula Alquist, whose husband Gregory (Charles Boyer) systematically manipulates her perception, creating the prototype for psychological abuse and denial of reality.
- Sleeping with the Enemy (1991): Julia Roberts plays Laura, a woman escaping her controlling husband whose behaviors include manipulation, denial, and subtle psychological domination typical of gaslighting dynamics.
- Gone Girl (2014): Rosamund Pike as Amy Dunne stages her own disappearance to manipulate media and her husband, flipping the script on gaslighting while still exposing how reality can be weaponized.
Television Series
- Big Little Lies (2017–2019): Alexander Skarsgård as Perry Wright gaslights his wife Celeste (Nicole Kidman), creating confusion, self-blame, and isolation within an affluent domestic setting.
- You (2018–): Penn Badgley as Joe Goldberg uses emotional manipulation and selective honesty to distort reality and justify abusive actions under the guise of love.
- The Handmaid’s Tale (2017–): Theocratic leaders manipulate women’s beliefs and memories in Gilead, institutionalizing gaslighting as a method of control and compliance.
Literature
- The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins: The protagonist Rachel struggles with alcoholism and unreliable memory, making her vulnerable to gaslighting by her ex-husband Tom.
- Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier: The unnamed narrator is slowly disoriented by Maxim de Winter and the lingering shadow of his first wife, experiencing indirect forms of gaslighting.
- The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides: This psychological thriller explores trauma, distorted truth, and the manipulation of narrative—core elements of clinical gaslighting.
Visual Art
Conceptual and surrealist artists have illustrated gaslighting through disorienting imagery, fragmented mirrors, and contradictory text. These works capture the emotional destabilization and epistemic rupture characteristic of psychological manipulation.
Research Landscape
Psychological manipulation is studied across clinical psychology, trauma studies, gender theory, and legal sociology. Current research explores its neurobiological impact, links to complex PTSD, and structural manifestations in institutions and caregiving systems.
- Review Article | Relationship Between Social Support, Coping Strategies, Spirituality and Psychological Status among Breast Cancer Survivors
- The ethical dilemmas of methodology of extra-corporal fertilization in the context of medicalization of reproduction: The review
- The impact of digital addiction on social health of the youth
- On the impact of general practitioner satisfaction with one's own work upon quality of interaction with patients under medical care provision
- Effect of Chronic Endometritis on Prognosis and Reproductive Outcomes in Infertile Women With Endometrial Hyperplasia
FAQs
What is gaslighting from a neurobiological perspective?
Gaslighting activates stress circuits in the brain, especially the amygdala and prefrontal cortex. Over time, it impairs emotional regulation, self-perception, and memory confidence, contributing to anxiety and distrust in relationships.
Can gaslighting affect long-term relationships?
Yes. It erodes mutual trust and distorts shared reality, often replacing intimacy with fear, guilt, or emotional withdrawal. Couples affected may struggle with conflict repair and co-regulation.
How does gaslighting relate to attachment trauma?
People with insecure or disorganized attachment styles may be more vulnerable to gaslighting, especially when love is paired with confusion or emotional withholding. This can reinforce cycles of dependency and self-blame.
What makes gaslighting different from lying?
Lying is typically one act; gaslighting is a repeated pattern designed to distort perception and reality. Its goal is not just deception but destabilization and control.
Can gaslighting be unintentional?
Yes. While often deliberate, gaslighting can also stem from learned relational behaviors or emotional immaturity. Intent does not negate the harm caused or the psychological impact on the victim.
