Avoidant attachment, also known as dismissive-avoidant attachment, is characterized by emotional distancing, discomfort with closeness, and a strong preference for independence over intimacy. Individuals with this attachment style tend to suppress emotional needs, avoid vulnerability, and may appear aloof or self-reliant in relationships. It typically develops in response to early caregiving environments that discouraged emotional expression or emphasized self-sufficiency.

Avoidant Attachment Figure 1. Classification of Adult Attachment Styles Based on Anxiety and Avoidance Dimensions.
Full Name	Avoidant Attachment Style (Dismissive)
Core Characteristics	Emotional distance, self-reliance, discomfort with dependence and vulnerability
Developmental Origin	Caregiving that discouraged emotional expression or emphasized independence
Primary Behaviors	Emotional suppression, reluctance to rely on others, withdrawal under stress
Adult Relationship Impact	Low intimacy, high autonomy, difficulty with emotional closeness
Associated Traits	Low anxiety, high avoidance, defensive self-esteem, emotional detachment
Contrasts With	Secure, anxious (preoccupied), and disorganized (fearful) attachment styles
Associated Disciplines	Psychology, relationship counseling, trauma studies
Clinical Relevance	Linked to intimacy difficulties, suppressed affect, and relational dissatisfaction
Sources: Bowlby (1969), Ainsworth (1978), Bartholomew & Horowitz (1991), Mikulincer & Shaver (2007)

Other Names

Dismissive-avoidant attachment, avoidant style, insecure-avoidant, attachment avoidance, emotionally distant attachment, deactivating attachment, dismissive attachment

Historical Context

Ainsworth’s Contributions

In Mary Ainsworth’s Strange Situation experiments, avoidantly attached infants showed little distress during separation and ignored or avoided the caregiver upon reunion. This was interpreted as a coping strategy to deal with emotional unavailability or rejection.

Adult Attachment Expansion

Bartholomew and Horowitz later identified the dismissive-avoidant pattern in adults, characterized by self-sufficiency and reluctance to form close bonds, even when intimacy might be beneficial.

Behavioral Patterns in Relationships

Avoidantly attached individuals may:

Appear independent and emotionally “low-maintenance”
Withdraw when intimacy increases
Downplay the importance of relationships
Struggle with empathy or expressing emotional needs

Strengths and Limitations

Avoidant attachment can confer a sense of self-reliance and emotional control, but often at the cost of deeper emotional connection and vulnerability. Therapy can help address discomfort with closeness and challenge underlying beliefs about emotional safety.

FAQs

What causes avoidant attachment?

It commonly stems from caregiving that was emotionally distant, punitive, or inconsistent in responding to emotional needs. Children learn to suppress their attachment needs to maintain proximity without being rejected.

Can avoidant individuals change?

Yes. With awareness and effort—often through therapy or secure relationships—avoidantly attached individuals can develop greater comfort with emotional intimacy and learn to express vulnerability safely.

Why do avoidant people pull away?

Emotional closeness can trigger discomfort or fear of dependency, prompting withdrawal as a self-protective response to perceived loss of control or autonomy.

Are avoidant people emotionless?

No. They may feel emotions deeply but have learned to disconnect or downregulate emotional expression as a defense mechanism.

Avoidant attachment