Anxious attachment, also known as preoccupied attachment, is an interpersonal pattern marked by a heightened sensitivity to rejection, intense desire for closeness, and preoccupation with relationship security. Individuals with this style often seek excessive reassurance, fear abandonment, and may experience emotional highs and lows in romantic relationships. This attachment style typically develops from inconsistent caregiving during childhood, where the availability of the caregiver is unpredictable.

Anxious Attachment Figure 1. Classification of Adult Attachment Styles Based on Anxiety and Avoidance Dimensions.
Full Name	Anxious Attachment Style (Preoccupied)
Core Characteristics	High emotional reactivity, fear of abandonment, clinginess, need for reassurance
Developmental Origin	Inconsistent or unpredictable caregiving during early childhood
Primary Behaviors	Hypervigilance to relational cues, excessive reassurance-seeking, emotional dependency
Adult Relationship Impact	Jealousy, over-investment, fear of rejection, difficulty with emotional boundaries
Associated Traits	High anxiety, low avoidance, low self-esteem, heightened attachment-related worry
Contrasts With	Secure, avoidant (dismissive), and disorganized (fearful) attachment styles
Associated Disciplines	Psychology, developmental science, couples therapy, trauma-informed care
Clinical Relevance	Associated with relational instability, mood disorders, and susceptibility to codependency
Sources: Bowlby (1969), Ainsworth (1978), Hazan & Shaver (1987), Mikulincer & Shaver (2007)

History of Anxious Attachment

Origins in Developmental Psychology

The anxious attachment style was first categorized through Mary Ainsworth’s “Strange Situation” experiment, where infants exhibiting strong distress upon separation and ambivalence upon reunion were labeled as having an anxious (or ambivalent) attachment. These infants showed inconsistent expectations about caregiver availability.

Extension to Adult Relationships

In the 1980s, researchers Hazan and Shaver expanded attachment theory to adult romantic relationships. Anxiously attached adults were described as intensely preoccupied with their partner’s availability, frequently worrying about rejection and craving emotional intimacy.

Behavioral and Relational Dynamics

People with anxious attachment often:

Experience frequent worry about their partner’s love and loyalty
Desire closeness but fear being “too much” or overwhelming
Exhibit emotional highs and lows depending on perceived partner responsiveness
Use protest behaviors like withdrawal, clinging, or guilt induction

Challenges and Growth Pathways

While anxious attachment can strain relationships, individuals can develop more secure behaviors through:

Emotionally attuned and consistent partnerships
Therapeutic work addressing early relational trauma and self-worth
Mindfulness and self-soothing techniques to manage anxiety

FAQs

What causes anxious attachment?

Anxious attachment often develops in childhood when a caregiver is inconsistently available—sometimes nurturing, sometimes neglectful—leading the child to become hypervigilant to signs of connection or rejection.

Can anxious attachment be changed?

Yes. Anxious attachment patterns can shift toward secure attachment through self-awareness, therapy, and relationships with securely attached partners or mentors.

What are protest behaviors in anxious attachment?

Protest behaviors are actions designed to regain a partner’s attention or closeness, including excessive calling or texting, playing games to test loyalty, or emotional outbursts following perceived distance.

How is anxious attachment different from codependency?

While they may overlap, codependency is a broader behavioral pattern involving enmeshment and self-neglect, whereas anxious attachment specifically refers to relationship dynamics rooted in fear of abandonment and hyperactivating strategies.

Anxious attachment